2005 throw back

Prayer breaks through the hard places
Pierces the walls of false security
and destroys the glue that bonds
sadness and control
to the base
of the fall
of man.

Why don't we stay here?

Keep in the body or you're running in self-sufficiency
and hard places
and building walls of false security
using glue that bonds
sadness and control
to the base
of the fall of man.

But prayer breaks through.
Why don't we stay here?

Can't look you in the eye
Cause there's a stick in mine.

The Holy Spirit is mending all wounds.

He is good
good
good.

Leek Soup

Yes, it's good enough to blog about.





My sister Kelley married a Spanish pastor, and when she comes home, she brings all these amazing, whole-food recipes back with her. Olives, seafood,vegetables, spices. Just good stuff that isn't made in a factory.

My favorite thing that she taught me to make is Leek Soup. Extremely easy. Extremely delicious.


Leek Soup
2 zucchinis
2 carrots
2 medium white potatoes
2 leeks
splash o' milk (opt)
1/2 c cheddar (opt)
salt & pepper
EVOO

Rinse and chop all veggies. Peel and chop potato. Sautee all the veggies minus the potatoes in some hot EVOO. Season with s&p. I use a dutch oven b/c I don't like to dirty lots of pots. When browned, throw in the peeled & chopped potatoes, and fill pot with water JUST to enable a boil. Have only enough water to cover the veggies. When taters are tender, throw in some milk & cheese. Stir until cheese is melted. Throw mixture (in batches if necessary) into a food processor. I use a smoothie maker! Transfer each processed mixture into a large bowl. I'm OCD about each batch containing the same ratio of things, so I like to stir it at the end, too.

SO GOOD (though the final product strongly resembles breast milk poo).

order by event

Schedule.

(HAHA!)

I've realized that through:

(1) trial and error and (2) whatever mechanism you wanna call "the opposite of grace for yourself" is

that my day cannot be ordered by time, but by event. Now, I realize that the rest of the world but me operates by time. And I realize that discipline is measuring oneself to quantitative measurements like time.

But around here, ah-ha moments may come once or five times per day. But if one happens, we've considered it a good day.

Perfect example: Carly was sitting in her booster seat, looking across the worn, really-needs-to-be-stained-or-needs-a-centerpiece table, eating her PB&J. She realizes out loud,

"Carly a good girl, Carly not a bad girl. Mommy LOVE Carly," without any prompting by me. It was just in her head, so she wanted to declare it.

And suddenly, it does not matter that I haven't gotten her hair fixed by noon. Who cares. Or that as we speak, she just had a potty accident during her "naptime." Event takes precedence over time.

So, in honor of the delightful insight posted by Jessi, I would like reciprocate by giving myself a lot of grace and declare the following daily ambitions. These are for "work days," which means Carson is gone for 12 to 30 hours at a time. "Off days" (which really aren't off, it means he goes to school that day from 6-10 p.m.) are completely different. So, work days are as follows. I have several time indicators, but not everything is notated with time...

(please compassionately stay aware that I have a 4 month-old, 19 month-old, and almost 3-year old)

A little quiet time
Get dressed (me)
Nurse baby
Breakfast for all
Computer time
Start laundry
Read bible story
Get dressed (toddlers)
10 a.m. Seasame Street- THANK YOU, JESUS
Dance party/Music time
Nurse baby
11:30 a.m. lunch
12ish naps
Positive reinforcement on sticker charts for obeying or doing something good
3 p.m. gerthy snack
Read L & C five books separately per day
Play with baby
Smile at baby
Coo at baby
Sing to baby
Nurse baby
Play doh/coloring/something else from the craft closet(s)
Go outside in afternoon if it's not raining
4:30 p.m. TV or movie while I start dinner and drink strong black tea, forget the green stuff
Wonder why baby is crying, put her on my boob
Free play/books/inventive yoga while listening to KLove or different music after dinner so as to avoid that 5-7pm meltdown that will probably inevitably happen anyway
6-8 p.m. dinner. survive. needs work. kids bathe very irregularly (gulp)

Tips without sounding overwhelmingly preachy?

practice in prose, on place

I've been thinking a lot about place. I had this awesome world history teacher in seventh grade. She was a stout, Irish yankee, and you can imagine her temper. Wow. This pensive kid from the South was truly intimidated, yet enchanted with the passion, the fury, the relentless purpose of this really short lady whose bangs would flop all over her forehead as her smoky voice would demand---

"Who knows?"
"Raise your hand!"
"Why did the Afghans have such archaic farming methods?!"
"GEOGRAPHY!"
"Geography affects EVERYTHING!"
"They were geographically isolated, and that is why they were the way they were. That is why ALL of us are the way we are!"

By this point, her smoker's lips were creased and she was red in the face. And how in world do I remember this?

Maybe the more pointed question is, "Why am I remembering this?"

Firstly, a good teacher is never forgotten. Secondly, it's true about place. People reflect their places. In our country, the Southeast is warm and slow-moving, people and place. There's a lot of sameness because it's easy to move around. The West is bold and new, people and place. There's a lot of creativity, new thought, and acceptance of diversity out there. There are likewise tons of unpredictable fauna and landscapes. The cities of the Northeast are just crowded, cold and cranky.

Wyoming was weird and windy, the people were unique and mystical. The Christian population there was intensely cohesive because those kinda people in that kinda weather just have to stick together.

Maybe Christian apathy settles and sticks like tar in a place like bad cholesterol in an artery. Where people aren't challenged. Like Europe. I think the only Christians left there may be really indifferent Catholics. Maybe apathy happens where people won't move, because they're comfortable. Has Christianity fallen asleep in Europe because people valued place and comfort over the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?

Maybe this is why people move in the first place. I want to keep moving until I'm Home.

less professional, less suave, less visually stimulating

why?

(1) I have road runner LIGHT. meaning, road runner WIMPY
(2) I'm so multi-layered that if I have something to say, I better not fumble it with pictures- the thoughts have enough imagery in themselves
(3) I'm learning, and I think the human experience is worth sharing, even if the consequences are emotional nakedness sometimes.

WHAT IF CHRISTIANS...

• took their vocations seriously, instead of pinning their identity to how they earned their manna?

"So what'd you do today?"
"Oh, I walked in the Spirit and practiced thoughtfulness in every way I could."
"Awesome. Enough. Treasure in heaven. Great job."

• focused more on how God loves them just the way they are, not the way they should be?
  

holler- Brennan Manning

it's been a month

...and there is no fancy way to segue from the awkward silence to the present day. Well, perhaps there is, but i'm not witty or clever enough to muster up the writing skills to do so.


But truly, silence speaks. I was overwhelmed in December!

So, let's just post some pics.

Rachel's getting big. By far, the chillest baby I've ever had.

By the way, can ANYONE tell me how to upload non-foggy pics? I don't get it.



Carson & I have really enjoyed a little more time with each other this past month. We've been reading, praying and talking a lot more in-depth. Dreaming, wondering, believing, and encouraging each other about our lives. We have a strong sense that it's just the beginning of our lives. We are learning about surrender.


There he is, that sweet daddy. He started back to medic school today. He'll finish up in august. I think i can handle it.

Mmmm. Here are some new year's leftovers from my parents' house. They always make ham, collards, cornbread (with honey or molasses) and lotsa BEANS!

Carly calls Rachel her "new sister" still. I guess 3 1/2 months is still "new"!


Thanks to the luxury of having Carson home more during December, I even got to sneak away to church by myself Sunday. Usually, the nursery calls me and I can't hear the sermon.

Oh, and look! My nose isn't pregnant anymore! (It's been pregnant for three years).


There's a lotta drool in these photos. Please don't be offended. It actually tastes sweet when you accidentally kiss it.
Really loving just living these days.



I've discovered a functional little schedule for myself with my three girls under three. A main component is staying home. The most important part is walking in the Spirit though, no matter now unexpected the flow of the day may go.

The Spirit has shown me wisdom in many ways. I'm so thankful. Nightly showers, toddler bible time, Elmo, eating every four hours (especially protein), and a supernatural contentment about our future are just a FEW ways of MANY that He has showered His presence on us.



Here are the girls on Christmas morning. Flabbergasted. We piled the toys their relatives gave them for Christmas in a closet, only to set them up elf-style on Christmas morning. We didn't take credit nor do we do the Santa thing. We just acknowledged that "so-and-so" gave you a ______ for Jesus' birthday! Merry Christmas! We were pleased with this system. Didn't want to deprive them of new things, didn't have money, and didn't love Santa. So, everything worked out well!


We had a yummy brunch with Carson's mom and sister.


I hope your January is filled with joy.

May the joy of the Lord be your strength in whatever season you find yourself in. His grace is sufficient for you!

Keep pressing into the life-giver.